Two weeks later she came home totally drunk.
That night I wrote the following journal entry:
All of a mother's love and strength will not be enough if your child won't accept that there is a problem and want to change. How do I feel? Frustrated, sad, guilty, angry. Once again, I put myself on the line, standing up for my daughter and she was lying. I was clinging to the hope that she was "cured." I forgot that recovery is a process. I am finally ready to be here. I can accept my co-dependency, my enabling. My daughter has to do this on her own or she won't survive. I get it. I must "withhold everything but the love."
The lyrics to the song below bring me back to the moment when I wrote this journal entry. Every time I listen to it I am reminded to let go. (To listen click on the link below.)